Job interviews suck
This might end up being a multi-part series because there is a lot to say about job searching, screening, negotiation, promotion, etc. not to mention that you may need completely different techniques to be the interviewer vs the interviewee.
It happens to everyone. Sooner or later you’re going to participate in the corporate shit show that is interviewing. Getting a job is the most common reason, but you may also interview for promotions, responsibility changes, random projects, etc.
Much like the stupid dating game that everyone hates, the lovely corporate dance of interviewing comes with its own stupid rules.
Today is about being the interviewee when seeking out a new job.
Much like dating, both parties are trying to extract information from each other without revealing things to the other that will make them run for the hills. The reason it is a stupid dance is that most things consist of positive/negative attributes in different situations.
But, since people are uncomfortable with properly owning their negative attributes, there is a temptation to conceal or dance around information on both sides. So, what could be an easy, direct exchange of information turns into some guessing game where half the time the “fit” doesn’t even last a year (not to mention costing a ton of time and money to even get the candidate through the process).
So, how do you extract and present information like a SHIT?
- Do homework to ask questions that put them on edge.
This is straightforward. The advice career centers give you is “prepare for your interview” and “ask insightful questions” which isn’t wrong, if you are focused on the right stuff.
Give them questions they don’t have answers to. Then offer up some solutions. Then ask them how much they’ll give you to solve the problem.
“I noticed that 2 employees worked here for only ~6 months before quitting. The fuck is up with that?”
“Your competitors earnings last quarter ECLIPSED yours. Who fucked that one up?” - Focus exclusively on things that align to your priorities.
If your number one goal is compensation, don’t dance around it. Don’t make it about “recognition” or whatever else. Make it about compensation.
If you care about learning, connections, impact, whatever – be direct. Control the conversation.
The fewer your priorities are, the more laser-like you can be in chasing your goals and quickly vetting out idiot interviewers who try to pitch you on everything or dance around the missing elements.
“Fuck your unlimited paid time off, tell me my budget signing authority.” - Understand where your interviewer fits.
You will likely be interviewed by people in very different roles. Focus on what each person’s personal goals are, which will tell you their biases. You can figure out a lot about someone by understanding what their role is, what a win looks like for them, etc.
And, you can use this to your advantage. Frame everything in the context of how it’ll make them win. Interviewing team members for competency is nobody’s full time job. There are dedicated recruiters and such who will screen you, but once you get to the team and hiring managers, everyone has day jobs.
So, don’t make it about you. Make it about them. Use your experience to highlight wins that affect them, not that show off your own skills. Lots of people say they look for people with great skills, and extracurricular accomplishments, but basically everyone is actually there to either stay employed or get ahead – even if they can’t admit it to themselves.
To a developer:
“Even though I am deeply devoted to QA, I think fundamentally, great testing comes down to providing great resources and references to people defining requirements and doing development. I really try to make sure that I’m not only finding issues but also making sure that the information is made actionable for people like you, in development roles. So you can drink more Mountain Dew.”
To an exec:
“When I built out my reporting templates for senior management, I thought really hard about where most executives are when they read these reports. It turns out, they spend a lot of time on mobile devices, so I found a way to make it easier for them to read my report templates on the go. It saved them a lot of time to play golf or whatever.” - Translate questions.
What are you passionate about?
“Do your interests line up with what this job is about or are we going to have to deal with you moping around or looking for a new role here in 3 months?”
What are your goals?
“Seriously. Are you going to quit? We can’t afford another fuck up in this department.”
What do you like to do for fun?
“Are you going to tell on me when I show up at 1 pm still hungover as fuck? Also, give me clues about your lifestyle so I can figure out how much I can underpay you.”
How do you like to give/receive feedback?
“How do I make sure you wont sue us?”
Being yourself is a good strategy if you want to find a decent fit and don’t care about time. Not because you are awesome, but because if you’re authentic, you’ll end up at the right place for the right reason.
If your goal is to get hired somewhere you really want to be (or really urgently need a job) be a combination of everyone you meet on interview day.
As a recap, interviews are all about extraction of information. Ask a ton of questions to get what you need to know. You’ll lose the ability to ask certain types of questions candidly as an employee that you can easily get away with as part of “discovery” in an interview.
Lastly, if you’re being interviewed by an idiot, let them do all the talking. It’ll be super entertaining and they won’t have the wits to separate their emotional response to you making them feel valuable from their actual evaluation of you as a candidate.
