Measure, don’t count
Don’t be an asshole. Here’s how to spot the assholes: in “metrics” sessions, they are always talking about some stupid shit like:
- We did # interviews.
- We launched # projects.
- We cleared # tickets.
These fuckers aren’t reporting metrics. They are reporting counts.
If you are stepping your game up, don’t fuck around with counts. Get on real metrics. Your numbers need a direction.
What the fuck is a direction? Information that drives action. Context on how that number fits into the rest of your business.
# tickets is useless
% reduction in future tickets per dollar spent will blow motherfuckers away
Reporting on effort is mostly useless. Who cares how much effort you put into something? Tell me what the fuck I got for your effort. Like Janet said, “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY?!”
